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The Opinions

Herb and Lou have thoughts. On dosing, terpenes, the lost art of the bar, and whatever's funny this week.

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Lou's Official Complaint That the Bar Charged You for the Shift Change (And the Shift Change Is Not a THC Old Fashioned)

Lou has examined the bar tab line by line and found a charge for "staff transition." This is not a cocktail ingredient. This was not requested. Lou has...

Herb & Lou's · Sep 06, 2026
Lou's Official Field Report on Why You Are Paying for the Bartender's Parking

Lou has audited your bar bill and found a line item nobody talks about: you are...

Lou's Official Grievance That the Bar Just Charged You for the Bartender's Vibe

Lou files a formal, itemized complaint against bars that price in "the energy of the space"...

Lou's Official Memo That You Are Paying for the Bartender's Handwriting (And His Handwriting Is a Crime)

Lou has received the handwritten receipt. He has studied it. He has filed a report. The...

Lou's Official Grievance: The Bar Charged You for the Bartender's Certification

Lou files a formal complaint about the invisible surcharge buried in your bar tab: the bartender's...

Lou's Official Report on Why You Are Paying for the Bartender's Tattoos

Lou has reviewed the bar tab and filed a full audit. The tattoos, the sleeves, the...

Lou's Official Complaint That the Bar Just Charged You for the Venue (And the Venue Is a Room With Chairs in It)

Lou has reviewed the itemized bill. You paid for a room with chairs in it. He...

Lou's Official Dispatch on Why You Are Paying for the Bartender's Story (And Why His Story Is Not a Cocktail Ingredient)

Lou has a formal ruling on bartenders who explain the vermouth before they pour it, and...

Lou's Official Grievance That the Bar Charged You for the Garnish

Lou files a formal complaint about the modern bar's garnish racket: smoked rosemary, dehydrated orange wheels,...

Lou's Official Complaint That the Bar Is Charging You for the Bartender's Feelings (And His Feelings Are Not an Ingredient)

Lou audits every emotional surcharge hidden inside your craft cocktail tab and explains why THC cocktails...

Lou's Official Decree That the Bar Just Charged You for the Bartender's Opinion (And His Opinion Was Wrong and Unprompted)

Lou issues a formal ruling on unsolicited bartender commentary, the crime of over-garnished old fashioneds, and...

Lou's Official Audit of Why You Are Paying for the Bartender's Training (And Why He Still Got It Wrong)

Lou has reviewed the receipt, line by line, and the numbers do not add up. Fourteen...

The Best Business Plan Ever Created

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Herb & Lou's Launches Beverage Line Using The Best Business Plan Ever Created...

Lou's Official Complaint That the Bar Just Charged You for the Music (And the Music Was a Playlist Someone Made on Their Phone in 2019)

Lou has filed a formal grievance. The bar charged him for a Spotify queue somebody built...

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