Lou's buying. You cover the stamp. · Get your can
Shop the Cans
Opinions, science & comedy news

The Opinions

Herb and Lou have thoughts. On dosing, terpenes, the lost art of the bar, and whatever's funny this week.

Read
bar tab

Lou's Official Complaint That the Bar Charged You for the Shift Change (And the Shift Change Is Not a THC Old Fashioned)

Lou has examined the bar tab line by line and found a charge for "staff transition." This is not a cocktail ingredient. This was not requested. Lou has...

Herb & Lou's · Sep 06, 2026
Lou's Official Verdict on Why the Bar Just Charged You for the Ice (And Why Ice Is Weather and Weather Is Free)

Lou has examined the receipt, audited the line items, and issued his final ruling on THC...

Lou's Official Ruling on Why You Are Paying for the Mixer (And the Mixer Is Just Juice From a Gun)

Lou has looked at the bar tab and has some questions. Specifically about the four-dollar splash...

Lou's Official Investigation Into Why You Are Paying for Someone to Open Your Beer (And Why He Has Already Submitted a Report to the Authorities)

Lou has filed a formal investigation into the modern bar's audacity of charging you a labor...

Lou's Official Inquiry Into Why the Bar Is Charging You for the Glass (And Why the Glass Is Not Even Good)

Lou audits the modern bar's most brazen hidden charges, targets the terpenes that make you laugh...

Lou's Official Notice That the Bar Just Charged You for the Ambiance (And the Ambiance Was a Broken Speaker and a Candle)

Lou audits a real bar bill line by line, finds the ambiance charge, and declares it...

Herb's Official Lab Report on Why the Bar Gave You a Hangover and He Did Not (And Why That Is Science, Not Luck)

Herb has studied the thc drinks vs alcohol hangover question extensively (he read several articles) and...

Lou's Official Decree on Why Your Bartender Is a Stranger Who Knows Your Name

Lou issues a formal ruling on the friendly bartender transaction: you are not friends, he is...

Lou's Official Testimony on Why You Are Paying for the Bartender's Personality (And He Does Not Have One)

Lou has reviewed the receipt, the bitters menu, and the bartender's opinions, and none of it...

Lou's Official Position on Why the Bartender Is Charging You for the Atmosphere (And Why He Has Already Filed a Complaint)

Lou defines what a zero proof cocktail actually is, then files a formal complaint about bar...

Lou's Official Stance on Why You Are Paying for Someone Else's Hangover (And He Has Done the Math)

Lou runs a furious, deadpan audit of the modern bar bill, itemizes every dollar going toward...

Lou's Official Dispatch on Why the Bar Thinks It Invented the Old Fashioned (And Why Lou Has the Receipt)

Lou has had enough. Every bar, bartender, and self-appointed "mixologist" in America has put their fingerprints...

Lou's Official Complaint About the Cover Charge (And Why He Has Already Decided It Is a Personal Insult)

Lou breaks down the math on cover charges, drink markups, and why cracking open an old...

Lou's Official Ruling on Why the Bar Tab Is a Moral Document (And Yours Proves You Have No Self-Respect)

Lou audits the modern bar tab line by line, and every single charge is an indictment....

« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 7 Next »