Two marriages · four problems · eight milligrams
The Cast
Two men have argued at the end of the same Hell's Kitchen bar for thirty years. Two women married them anyway. Each can is one of them, attitude included.
L
Lou
The deadpan, working-class realist
63. Sells pipe. Hell's Kitchen lifer. Married 40 brutal years to Jane. Dry, gravelly, dark. “I did the math.” “Damn right.”
Damn Right I'm Old FashionedHis Can
H
Herb
The flamboyant highbrow snob
Theatrical, pompous, “darling.” Cruelly witty about taste and class, and secretly ridiculous himself. Married to Mary.
Very Manly Peach BelliniHis Can
M
Mary
The fast, unfiltered New Yorker
Machine-gun delivery, zero patience, savage. Married to Herb, a dead-bedroom she'll tell you all about.
M Train Espresso MartiniHer Can
J
Jane
The ice-cold, savage socialite
Old money, “darling,” eerily calm, devastating. Married to Lou, whom she roasts for sport.
Fancy Shmancy Pom CosmopolitanHer Can