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Got a joke, a bit, or a video clip? Hand it over. If it lands, Herb, Lou, Mary or Jane will roast it in their own voice and the whole bar gets to laugh. Lovingly.

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Approved & roasted

The Joke Board

The bits that made the cut, with a roast from the family. Submit yours above. If it lands, it shows up here.

“I bought a boat I cannot afford. Now I am in over my head two ways.”
Mike T.
Jane roasts back
Mike, the only thing sinking faster than your boat is this joke. In over your head two ways. Sweetheart, that is not wordplay, that is a distress flare with a rimshot attached. You financed a punchline you cannot afford either. Go down with the ship, it has better material.
“I told my doctor I drink to forget. He asked forget what. I said exactly.”
Danny from Hoboken
Lou roasts back
Danny, this joke's been to more open mics than you've been to AA meetings, and it died at every single one. It's older than your doctor, older than Hoboken, older than the bit it stole from. I'd tell you to try again but I don't believe in lying to a man who's clearly been through enough.
“My therapist says I have a problem with commitment. We will see if that lasts.”
Reena P.
Herb roasts back
Reena. A commitment joke. How bold. How fresh. How 2009. I have seen wallpaper with more original ideas and better timing. You did not write a punchline, darling, you found one abandoned in a fortune cookie and gave it a worse home. We will see if it lasts. It will not.
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