The Espresso Martini Can Drink Is Better Than It Has Any Right to Be

I want to be clear that I did not come to this easily. I am a man who believes in the proper preparation of things. You do not rush a roux. You do not skip act two. And you do not, historically, trust a cocktail that came out of a can.

My Complicated History With Canned Anything

For most of my adult life, I drew a firm line. Canned beer at the stadium, fine. That is its natural habitat. But a cocktail in a can always felt like something a person settles for at an airport gate because their options are a warm Chardonnay or whatever that is. I told my buddy Dennis this maybe six hundred times. Dennis, for the record, drinks White Claws without any visible shame, so I am not sure he was ever the right audience.

The thing is, I grew up in Hell's Kitchen when it was actually Hell's Kitchen, and you learned early that presentation mattered. The bartender at the place on Ninth could make a gin and tonic that felt like an occasion. That standard sticks with you. You carry it into every subsequent beverage decision. Possibly to an unreasonable degree.

My daughter Renata finally got tired of hearing me explain this and handed me an espresso martini can drink at her place last spring. She said, and I am quoting here, "Dad, please just drink it." So I did.

I was wrong. I hate when that happens.

What Actually Makes This Work

Here is what I figured out, standing in Renata's kitchen with a can I had been dismissing for two years. The espresso martini, as a cocktail concept, is almost impossible to mess up badly, because the flavors are so definite. Coffee. Vodka. A little sweetness. It is not a drink that requires a lot of architectural delicacy. What it requires is the right proportions, and it turns out that is something you can solve in advance.

The espresso martini can drink is, when done correctly, really just someone else doing the math before you open it. And I am an accountant. I respect math done correctly in advance. This is my whole professional value proposition.

What I did not expect was to find a version with a little THC in it that actually made the whole thing better. Not more complicated, just better. The Mary's M-Train Espresso Martini from Herb & Lou's lands the espresso martini can drink in a way that respects what the drink actually is. Coffee flavor that tastes like coffee. Clean finish. You do not feel like you are drinking a compromise.

I told Renata she was right. She wrote it on the calendar.

Why This Is the Right Call for More Occasions Than You Think

There is a whole category of situation where you want a proper drink but you do not want to build one. A rooftop. A friend's place before the game. Anywhere you are a guest and you do not want to be that guy asking where the cocktail shaker is, because there is no cocktail shaker, there was never a cocktail shaker, stop it.

The espresso martini can drink solves this. You show up, you open it, you have a cocktail-quality experience without performing a whole production number. I used to think that mattered, the production. Sometimes it does. But I have been in enough situations now to know that the drink itself matters more than the ritual around it, and if the drink is good, it is good, and a can does not change that.

Lou disagrees, obviously. Lou thinks anything that comes in a can is a moral failing. Lou also asked me last month what an espresso martini was, so I think we can agree he is not the one to arbitrate this.

Go Try One

Look, I am not going to pretend I became a convert overnight. But if you are curious about the espresso martini can drink and you want one that is actually worth your time, go look at what Herb & Lou's has. Start with the M-Train. Drink it cold. Do not overthink it. That last part is advice I should probably take more often myself, but I stand by it for you.

Herb out.