The Case for Canned Espresso for Espresso Martini Night (And What I Reach for Instead)

Jane from Hell's Kitchen on the only espresso martini shortcut worth knowing, why canned espresso for espresso martini just makes sense, and what she keeps in the back of the fridge for herself.

The Problem With Making an Espresso Martini From Scratch

The espresso martini is back. Or maybe it never left. Either way, every dinner party in this city now ends with someone standing at the kitchen counter trying to work out the shaker-to-foam ratio while the ice melts and the conversation dies in the other room. I have watched this happen six times this winter.

Here is what nobody mentions when they decide to serve espresso martinis: you need actual espresso. Not coffee. Not cold brew. Espresso. Which means either you have a machine, you know how to use it, you've pulled a shot at the right temperature, and you have the presence of mind to cool it down before it dilutes your entire drink. Or you don't, and you're improvising, and everyone can taste it.

I used to make them properly. I still can. But properly has a cost, and the cost is usually the last twenty minutes of a good evening.

Canned espresso for espresso martini is the solution people arrive at eventually, usually after one too many watery versions made from whatever was left in the French press. You shake it cold, it mixes clean, the flavor holds, and you spend the time you saved talking to your guests instead of standing over a machine. This is not cutting corners. This is knowing what the actual goal is.

The canned espresso that works best for this is strong and not sweet. You want something with enough body to hold up to vodka and still taste like a coffee drink at the end. The ones that are too light disappear. You end up with something that looks right and tastes like ambition.

What I Actually Keep in My Fridge

Lou likes a strong drink. I like a drink that does something. These are not always the same preference.

A few years ago I started keeping Mary's M-Train in the refrigerator for my own purposes. It's an espresso martini, already made, 8mg THC. I have a medical marijuana card. I know what I'm doing with it. The point is not to get somewhere dramatic. The point is to take the edge off a Tuesday without waking up Wednesday feeling like I made a decision.

The canned espresso for espresso martini format already exists as a convenience product. Mary's M-Train is just the version where someone asked why you couldn't also skip the vodka measure and the shaker and the whole production. Turns out you can.

I keep four of them. Lou doesn't touch them. He knows better.

The Logistics of a Good Evening

Here is what I have figured out after thirty years of hosting people in a Hell's Kitchen apartment: the drinks that require performance are the enemy of the evening. Someone always ends up in the kitchen. Someone always has an opinion about the ratio. Someone always leaves early while the host is still making the third round.

Canned espresso for espresso martinis handles the performance problem. You shake it, you pour it, it looks right, it tastes right. Or you open something that already did the work and hand it to the person who was absolutely going to ask for an espresso martini anyway.

Either way, you're back in the room where the conversation is.

The thing about a good evening is that it doesn't happen to you. You have to set it up. That means good lighting, something on in the background, something in the glass that works, and the presence of mind to stop engineering and start enjoying. I figured this out eventually.

Some of us learn faster than others.

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The Mary's M-Train is what I have in my fridge right now, and if you want to see what else is in the lineup, the full collection is here. Either way, you're not making anything from scratch. You're welcome.