A Field Report on the THC Espresso Martini and the Completely Reasonable Decision to Keep Going
It is midnight. The M Train is running local, which it always does when I have somewhere to be, and I am not tired. I want to say that clearly, for the record, to everyone who looked at me at 10 p.m. and said "you're going home soon, right?" No. I am not going home soon. I am going to the next stop and the stop after that, because this city does not put itself away at a reasonable hour and neither do I.
I have one can with me. Mary's M Train Double Espresso Martini, 8mg THC, cold, tucked into my bag next to a book I did not open once tonight. I cracked it on the platform and the man next to me looked at it the way people look at things they do not understand but want very badly. That is the correct reaction. That is the only reaction.
This is a thc espresso martini, and it does not know when to quit. We have that in common.
Everyone Has an Opinion About When I Should Be Done
My neighbor thinks I should be in bed. My neighbor is wrong and I don't hold it against him because he has been making this same mistake for years and he is consistent, which is its own kind of virtue. My sister texted me at nine-thirty to say "aren't you exhausted?" I did not reply. I was busy watching a man on the corner play a trumpet solo that deserved a full audience and got me, one woman with a cold espresso martini, which I think he preferred.
The world has a very committed position on when a night should end. The world would like you to look at a clock, feel appropriate guilt, and go home to do something responsible. The world invented the phrase "calling it a night" specifically to make leaving feel like an accomplishment. I am not calling it a night. The night has more going on than that.
Rich. Bold. Made for anyone who refuses to call it quits. That is what it says about this can and I am telling you, whoever wrote that knew exactly who was going to be standing on a subway platform at midnight with a trumpet playing somewhere behind them. They wrote it for me.
What the Can Actually Does, Since You Asked
I did not come here to explain terpenes to you. Herb will do that, at length, with a level of personal satisfaction that is frankly alarming for a man discussing molecules. If you want the full science, go read about what goes into the whole lineup and let Herb walk you through it with the authority of a man who believes he personally discovered terpenes in 2019.
What I can tell you is this: 8mg is the sweet spot. Not "maybe I feel something" and not "I am now the floor." It is the version of a night out where the edge comes off and everything gets a little more interesting without anything getting strange. The city gets louder in the good way. The lights do the thing where they look like they were placed there on purpose. The conversation you were half-listening to suddenly seems like the most important conversation happening anywhere.
That is what nano-emulsification does for you, by the way. Fast onset. Clean offset. No drag, no lag, no "did that even work" staring at your phone for forty minutes. It works. You know it worked. You get on with your evening. For the full breakdown on why THC drinks hit differently than anything else you've tried, the pillar post on THC cocktails, explained covers the whole picture.
The short version is: I finished half this can somewhere between DeKalb and Myrtle and by the time we pulled into Broadway I was having a genuinely wonderful time standing on a moving train alone, which is either a testament to the formula or a personality trait. Probably both.
The City Does Not Ask If You Are Ready
Here is the thing about midnight on the M Train. Nobody is there because they planned to be. The woman across from me has shoes that suggest a dinner party that ran long. The guy reading a paperback with a flashlight app has clearly been on this train for emotional reasons. We are all here because the night kept going and we kept saying yes to it, which is the only correct policy.
I have been told I stop too much. I stop to look at things. I stop when the light is doing something worth seeing. I stopped tonight for a full four minutes watching the reflection of the Manhattan Bridge in a puddle, and I will not apologize for that because the puddle was doing incredible work and deserved a witness.
This is what the M Train Double Espresso Martini is for. Not for getting through the night. For being in it. There is a difference and most people do not make it past nine-thirty to find out what the difference is.
It Is in the Fridge Right Now
I have more at home. A full four-pack of Mary's M Train Double Espresso Martini, 8mg THC each, waiting in the refrigerator for the next time somebody suggests I look tired and I need to prove a point.
If you are the kind of person who also refuses to call it a night, if you have ever stood on a train platform at midnight and thought "no, there is more," if you have ever watched a trumpet player on a corner and felt like the whole city arranged that moment specifically for you, then these are your cans. They were made for you. I put my name on them for a reason.
You do not have to be going anywhere in particular. You just have to be unwilling to stop.
Lou thinks I should have been home two hours ago. He texted me from the parking lot of a grocery store to say so, on speakerphone, to the grocery store. Jane told me to at least make an entrance when I get back. Herb has opinions about the optimal caffeine-to-terpene ratio in an espresso-forward THC cocktail that I will hear about tomorrow, probably at breakfast, definitely uninvited.
The train is pulling into the next stop. It is a good stop. I know because I stopped here once before, for the lights, and they were worth it.
I am not tired.
Herb and Lou's THC cocktails contain 8mg hemp-derived THC per can. For adults 21 and older only. Not available where prohibited. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Please drink responsibly and know your local laws.
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