Why Nobody Knows How to Have a Good Time Anymore

Used to be you showed up, had a drink, told some stories. Now everyone's on their phone planning the next thing. What happened to just being there?

Everything's Got to Be Content Now

I was at my buddy Frank's place last month. Nice night. He's got some people over, nothing fancy. I walk in and three people are taking pictures of the cheese plate. The cheese plate. Not eating it. Photographing it. Then they rearrange it. Then they photograph it again.

When did having a good time become about proving you had a good time? Back in the day, you went out, you had some laughs, and the only evidence was maybe you felt like garbage the next morning. That was it. Nobody needed to see what you were drinking or where you were sitting or what the lighting was like. You were just there. Present. That's why nobody knows how to have a good time anymore. They're too busy documenting it.

My nephew came to visit from Portland. Twenty-six years old. Sharp kid. We're sitting there, I'm telling him about the '86 Mets, and he's nodding but his eyes keep going to his phone. Not even scrolling. Just checking to see if it lit up. I asked him what he was waiting for. He didn't know. That's the problem right there.

When Did Relaxing Become So Much Work?

Used to be relaxing meant you stopped doing stuff. You sat down. You had a beer. You watched the game. Now relaxing is a whole production. Gotta have the right playlist. Gotta have the right lighting. Gotta have the right beverage that matches your vibe or whatever.

Don't get me wrong. I like a nice drink. Herb got me into these little cube things that make a decent old fashioned without all the fuss. You drop one in some whiskey and you're done. That's my speed. But people now, they gotta make it an event. They gotta tell you about the bitters and the orange peel and where the ice came from. It's exhausting.

My old man, after work he'd have a beer and read the paper. That was relaxing. He didn't need a whole setup. He didn't need to optimize it. Why nobody knows how to have a good time anymore is because everyone's trying too hard. Having fun used to be easy. Now it's a project.

We Forgot How to Just Sit There

Here's the thing that gets me. People plan fun now. They schedule it. They put it in their calendar. "Leisure time." My cousin does this. She's got an app that reminds her to relax. I'm not making this up.

You can't plan a good time. It just happens. You're with people you like, something funny comes up, you go with it. That's it. But now everyone's got this idea that if they're not doing something, they're wasting time. So they fill every minute. And then they wonder why they're tired.

I sold pipes for thirty years. You know what we did at lunch? We sat there. We ate our sandwiches. We broke each other's shoes. Sometimes we just sat there and didn't say anything. And it was fine. Nobody was checking their phone to see what they were missing. Because they weren't missing anything. They were right there.

The Thing Is

Look, I'm not saying everything was better before. I like being able to check the Mets score without waiting for the eleven o'clock news. But somewhere along the way we forgot that having a good time doesn't require anything special. Just show up. Pay attention to who you're with. Laugh at the dumb jokes. Let your phone die.

Next time someone invites you over, just go. Don't ask what the plan is. Don't check who else is coming. Don't take a picture of the cheese plate. Just be there. That's the whole secret nobody seems to know anymore.